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Wed, Jul. 18th, 2007, 01:57 am
gods of exbox
hmmm
what in zee hell is going on with me
everything is going perfect
or better, was
and i have to go
and start talking to someone
that i used to like but could never have
and now i can
but we have this love/hate thing
and the other is well, perfect, harmless, amazing
lovely
just lovely
always caught between two
maybe they will choose and save me the agony
word out
woohoo. too early, but i like it. i actually feel well rested and whatnot, and even not too shitty. drinking coffee and chainsmoking. my first breakfast. mhhhhm. i want a breakfast burrito so bad. but anyways. last night i went to katrics to make sugar cookies. it was hella fun. there were too many cookies though, so we gave up more than halfway through and smoked a cig then watched america's funniest home videos. ha. i giggled. so here i am, dying my hair. funfunfun. tonight i might be going to a concert with levi and brandon. fun shit right there. well penis out. =)
woaaaah.
hello.
ha.
soooo long.
so much has gone down, it's insane.
i left off at alesana and drop dead, gorgeous
and i just saw them again a little bit ago, and here i am now.
just like old times, updating the good old lj at kat's house.
we're finally friends again, really good friends and that excites me and fills the hole that was empty for over a year.
it's like we skipped all that bullshit and here we are.
freddy and max went down to the uni, they'll be back soon.
we're gonna watch movies and chill and make fun of each other like we do every time we hang out.
and we'll laugh alot like it's our job, and that's why i love them.
well, obviously there's more reasons than that, but that's the gist of it (jist?)
whatev.
waiting for katric to get out of the shower.
watched some funny song interpretations.
BOAT
RUDDER
STRANGE, MOUNTAIN
Hahaha.
We most def rock.
And I kinda miss not writing in this thing, so I'm thinking of starting it up again for something to do.
No one remembers that this site exists, so it's a nice place to vent.
And if you'd even try this on myspace, you'd get a million messages asking what was wrong or complaining or some such bullshit as that.
Well whatever.
My life is fucking SWEET right now, with a few exceptions, but hey, I'm doing my best, and everyone else is too.
I just haven't felt this content and happy with the people in my life in so long, it's like being in a stuffy room then stepping outside into a light rain and rainbows and unicorns and crazy shit like that.
Haha.
Still as much of a loser as I was when I started this, except I'm 17 now.
That's insane.
I've had this bia for like over 3 years.
WOAH
Well I'm gonna get off now, that was just a teeeeensy little update.
TOOOOTS
Sun, Aug. 20th, 2006, 12:20 pm
today
going to Cleveland in a few hours. To see Alesana, Drop Dead, Gorgeous & The Devil Wears Prada, She Explodes, Folly, The Human Abstract. Fuckin right.
This is just something I was and have been thinking about that kinda bothers me, but not really. Let's just say Andy Palmer lives awhile away, like two hours, yet we manage to talk every single day. I talk to Lisa everyday as well. But my so called "friends" who live just a few city blocks cannot summon the energy to give me a jingle or leave a myspace message or email. I mean, c'mon, it's not like we're all busy with school [Lisa is, but she manages to talk to me and we hang out quite often.] Work doesn't take THAT much energy [ considering three of my closest friends work there as well]. So what the fuck is keeping us from hanging out?? Gosh, I guess Von just isn't cool anymore, so let's not hang out with her. Seriously, I am just about at the last little string/straw. If you don't wanna hang just tell me [ Nicole on going to Olean] and then don't say you're going to call me to hang out and go to Olean and then not call but go anyways. A simple " I don't want you to come' or something along those lines would be fine, I wouldn't care, but actually getting ready to go, and sitting at home all night isn't exactly my idea of fun. So pretty much what I'm trying to say is fuck my so called "friends".
Fri, Jul. 28th, 2006, 11:54 am
myspace
is gay. it says mine, ian, steve, eva, andrew and lisa's account has been deleted. and it better not be. but anywho, that's just stupid. argh. im gonna eat some sammiches.
Wow. After so long of being depressed lately and not knowing why, I think it all kinda came together. So here we journey. Let's start with Ashly Austin, and no, I'm not dissing her. It's just the fact that she is no longer in my life after all we've been through. I'm meaning everything. I met her in third grade, third fucking grade. I was just a kid. We played with dolls and stuff. She taught me how to dance, we watched the movie speed about 100 times one summer, because we thought Keanu[sp] Reeves was so damn hot. We knew every word. She was with me when I was in love with Joel Shields. She was there for my first kiss. And then, here she is, when I need her the most, my last two years of school, my last few years of growing up, and she is nowhere to be seen. I saved her life once, I really did, but she's not in mine anymore, so it's like I'm the one that died, and sometimes that's what it feels like. I mean, shit, she was my big sister. And now she's like this phantom. I don't even really remember what that she looks like or what her voice sounds like, and that's the worst feeling in the world. Yep, Yep. There's more, I'll just write it later, I'm too lazy and sick-feelings right now to write it all. And it kinda just all-around saddens me. Hell.
Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006, 08:08 pm
myxdeadxbride (8:02:45 PM): fack. woo Acfilms666 (8:02:58 PM): fack me? Acfilms666 (8:03:26 PM): fack woo is that some kind of martial arts? myxdeadxbride (8:03:42 PM): yes myxdeadxbride (8:03:44 PM): i just invented it Acfilms666 (8:03:56 PM): yvonnes dojo of fack woo Acfilms666 (8:04:09 PM): punkin bitches in the face since 2006 Acfilms666 (8:04:15 PM): thats your slogan myxdeadxbride (8:04:55 PM): okay Acfilms666 (8:05:09 PM): your sign with be a big picture of you with a shit eatin grin on your face with your thumbs up Acfilms666 (8:06:06 PM): yeah i ruined it, its not even funny anymore myxdeadxbride (8:06:21 PM): haha myxdeadxbride (8:06:22 PM): i like it Acfilms666 (8:06:23 PM): or was it even funny to begin with hmmmm
it's not like anyone reads this anyways. so i can do my teen angst thing. and even if anyone does read this, and i doubt it, i couldn't really care less. hmmm. where to start. the beginning or the end? or the beginning of the end? haha. so dramatic. but yeah. people are disgusting. and fake. and pretty much the sliced ham in the italian pasta that is my life. and i hate sliced ham. yeah, i really hate sliced ham. but anywho. fuck people.
so. romance = bullshit. fuck a lot of people. this is my teen angst rant. here it goes again.... random shit and pointless thoughts liking people is overrated, let's just be friends. let's get drunk and makeout. let's get high and fuck. let's cheat on each other. let's be fucking friends that fuck each other. let's go on dates and dates and date each other's best friends. let's just keep it slow [where are the condoms?] argh. i hate boys. and they hate me as i found out YET AGAIN when i let my barriers down. maybe i should hate you for this, never really did ever quite get that far......
wooohoo. just set off some fireworks.
stomach feels like poopy.
but whatever.
so. last night my parents were being really old and didn't want to go to the fireworks in olean.
so i called nicole and she picked me up and then we picked nicki up.
and then we went on our merry way.
and almost died eight million trillion times.
but it was rad.
except for the fact my makeup and cds are in her car.
psht.
then we get there and walk around and get beeped at by crazy old menish types.
then i was walking and i heard a "HEY"
and it was chaddyy poooo
and so we hung out.
and held hands.
and watched fireworks.
and today he asked me out.
and i said yes.
woohoo. i am smiling so big. i like it alotttttttttttttttt.
so. i am a loser. and i feel like writing gross poetry.
so penis out loserssssssss.<3
well. woot. spent the night at lisa's last night. it was awesome. hot times playing video games and watching 'dazed and confused'. hung out with dave and met jason, who is a cool cat. just hung out and yelled and laughed. all in all, it was a fun filled night. had work today. i stole a double cheeseburger. :0 talked to rob for a few minutes via myspace. it better not fucking rain tomorrow, or i'm going to have to cut some people. even though i have to work tomorrow. oh well. leslie called me today, and that excited me. amber called as well, and i need someone to come with me to spend a couple a days in darien lake and then go to warped. it's only 125.01 for 3-4 days. but i'm poor. better start selling my arse. gonna go now. love.
i spent the night at lisa's last night. we bought a gamecube. limited edition. silver. it was fun. we also bought pancakes and waffles. at two am. because we rock. i laughed so hard last night. yes!! today i went shopping with julia and got some shirts and a pair of pants and the hottest little hoody you ever did see. hung around the house. called sarah and we went downtown. found nicole adn doug. went to wallymart. fucked around and whatnot. then we bought food and hung out in subway. and it was rad. came home, and here i am. so i rock.
well hey. last night was oober fun. bought a gamecube with lisa. then we ate waffles and pancakes at 2 in the morning.it was pure love<3 so. new piercing type of thing.  i likey<3
spent the night at julias. not last night, but the night before that.she's such a crazy gal and i love it. we watched movies and the tele and ate lots of food. and then i went home yesterday in the morning for work, which sucked. but today my friends is PAYDAY and that means chinese food. and lip rings. and shirt. :)
Thu, Jun. 29th, 2006, 12:29 am
more writing
down here we all have broken wings
but no one seems to mind that we can't fly
but secretly, we're all trying to go higher
until one of us is so far gone that the rest of the world forgets
about that one girl, you know, with the broken wings
who flew away and went higher, and bigger and wider
than the rest
a personal test
that lead to her death
Thu, Jun. 29th, 2006, 12:28 am
writing
for all the pretty girls who just don't get the game
picking all the boys with numbered vests on their chests
[choose your favorite flavor of the day]
don't worry about the name
they're all the same
[when you think about it, if you moved around some letters and added a few it's like deja vu]
an interview of sorts, where's the profile?
but you don't like his smile
and he never was interested anyways
a cigarette for everytime she tried and was denied
a thousand cigarettes litter soda cans on her floor
photographs of people and laughs in the past
it's sick
they probably don't even know her name anymore
her number's in the phonebook, and the phone is on the floor
black and useless like her heart
the come and go and at the start
she's excited and happy and runs around smiling
but two seconds and 12 cigarettes later
she's back into hiding
so. i'm pretty much tired of my stomach shitting on my soul. i can barely eat. it is depressing. i eat like once a day. and i feel like shit all the time. but the doctor can't fit me in until august. fuck that. blah. today i worked and it was pretty okay. that's pretty much it. hung out with sarah and corinne for a bit last night. oober fun. :)
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